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Journal 001 — paying attention to what I let in

I used to think prayer was the first thing I did in the morning. It isn't. Hasn't been for a long time.

Rebecca
January 15, 2026

I used to think prayer was the first thing I did in the morning.

It isn't. Hasn't been for a long time.

The first thing I do is reach for my phone. The first voice I hear is not God's. It's not mine either. It's a stranger telling me what to be afraid of, what to want, what to believe about the world before I've even said good morning to the One I claim to follow.

By the time I get around to praying, I'm already full. Already shaped. Already nudged into a posture I didn't choose.

And then I wonder why prayer feels flat. Why my faith feels secondhand. Why I can't hear God clearly.

Maybe He's not the one who's quiet.

I'm not making rules yet. I'm just noticing. What am I letting in before I let Him in. Whose voice is forming me before I've given Him the chance.

That's the project this year. Pay attention to what's discipling me. Because something always is.

Journal 001 — paying attention to what I let in — Spiritual, Maybe Religious